The physical world that we live in doesn’t care about should, but so many people that live in this world, including myself, care a whole lot about should. The really unfortunate part about it is that people that we don’t even know or care about are the ones who are telling us what we should do. The media, marketers, and advertisers largely are the ones who tell us how we should live our lives. Don’t forget the Joneses either. Nobody knows them, but too many are trying to keep up with them. You should buy this, you should buy that, you should look like this, you should like that, you should watch this, you should, should, should, should!
So this is one of my observations. Should doesn’t matter. The physical world doesn’t care at all how it should be, it is just what it is. So really things are exactly the way that they are supposed to be based on a cause and effect equation. As soon as we accept ourselves for who we are, we can find peace in that and bless not only our own life but others as well.
I also am not saying that we don’t need to improve ourselves and work to improve our lives and others. If you don’t like who you are and want to be someone else, you can always change. You are the only person that you really have any control of, and as soon as you change yourself, everything else will change for you.
So I am trying to do better, a little bit everyday. I am trying to not give a should anymore and to just change what I can about myself. It’s all I can do.
Figuring out what you want in life can be hard sometimes. I mean even though I know the importance of setting laser specific goals, it can still be a challenge to know exactly what is the best thing to shoot for. There are always so many options and so many choices of how to spend your time that it is easy to get overwhelmed with all of these choices. However, I think on the other hand that people are great at easily deciding what they don’t want. Ironically though, a lot of people end up doing the very things that they don’t want to do because they don’t get a clear enough picture of what they do want. I thought about this the other day, and I realized that goal setting can be pretty simple if you just think about what you don’t want and then resolve to achieve or be just the opposite of what you don’t want.
I don’t want to be broke. Being broke is never fun. People say that money can’t buy happiness, and I believe that. I know that there is more to life than just having piles of money that you can throw around and dance in, but there’s also more to life than scraping by. The richest people that I know are very philanthropic, and they help to improve the lives of others either through monetary contributions or through their time. It is hard to give either of those to help people when you are broke because you are struggling just to survive. So obviously the converse of being broke would be being rich or at least have enough to help others with. I think that is a positive goal.
Another thing that I don’t want is to be fat. I’ve been fat before in a few different time periods in my life and I didn’t like it. When you’re fat you are risking your health and in some cases even your life. I don’t like being teased or feeling self conscious for too much belly bulge. So obviously the converse to that is to be fit and healthy. If I eat well and exercise, then I will be fit and healthy. Once again another worthwhile goal.
I don’t want people to hate me. Despite my best efforts with this one, I am sure that somewhere I probably said or did something that made somebody hate me. I much prefer to be liked so I try to be likable. I try to be kind and not say mean things about people. So far it has worked out alright. Another goal worth pursuing, and I figured it out by knowing what I don’t want. I could go on for hours using this method of finding out what I don’t want and then do the opposite. It’s simple, but it works. Take the time to figure out what you don’t want. Discovering what you really do want may be simpler than you think.