April 28, 2015
3 Things That You Can Do To Improve Your Relationships With Others
Life is about relationships, and the quality of your life is basically the quality of your relationships with others as well as your relationship with yourself. Think about it, you’ve probably been with someone who you love to be with, and the time that you spend with them seems to pass so quickly. While on the other hand, you’ve also probably spent some time with some real jerks who you can’t wait to never see again for as long as you live! Obviously all of our personalities and personal likes and dislikes affect the types of people that we like to spend our time with, but from my observation, there are at least things that you can do to improve your relationships with others.
1. Play together. There is something about engaging in play activities with others that helps to form a special bond between the people that are playing together. Think back to your childhood and some of the fond memories that you have of playing with your best friends growing up. It was easy to lose track of time playing with my friends until my mom called and told me it was time to come home. Those were some good fun times.
If you’ve participated in any type of sport, think about the joy that you experienced and the close bonds of friendship that you developed while you were working together to master the individual skills and techniques that you needed to perform at your best. Now think of the times when you played games for fun to add variety to your training. How great was that? I still remember some of the games of frisbee and soccer that I played with teammates. They were legendary.
2. Laugh together. Laughter is the best medicine. We all know somebody who can make us laugh and we love them for it. Laughter helps us to not take ourselves too seriously and lets us feel full of life and joy. One of the easiest ways to destress is to listen to or watch something that makes you laugh. It’s no mistake that if I know that my wife or daughters are mad at me that I try to make them laugh. I know that it’s hard to laugh with someone and be mad at them at the same time so I try to use this situation to my advantage.
If people can make you laugh, you will even let them make fun of you and have a good time while they do it. What do you think some comedians do? They make observations about some of the funny things that are a part of all of our lives, and they point out how ridiculous those things are. They are essentially mocking our human behavior, and we love them for it.
3. Hate things together. You may think that I am crazy by putting this on a list, but think about this one for a minute. Love is a very strong emotion. They say that love can move mountains. Well hate is a very strong emotion as well, and hate can boil your soul. The thing is that if you hate things together, you can actually bond over your hatred. Think about the last time that you talked to one of your friends about something that you like and also about something that you hate. I can go to one of my friends and start talking about how I like pizza, and the conversation won’t last long. Of course your friend loves pizza, and? I really love food so I might be able to draw out the conversation a little bit longer by pointing out how the sauce to topping ratio and the crust density can definitely have an effect on your pizza eating experience, but for the most part, that topic will quickly be changed. However, if I hate something equally as much as a friend does, we can spend an hour on the topic and the emotion, and the passion, and the rage will build until it becomes overwhelming. Then you reach a point when you’re drained and you have to change the subject for your own benefit.
This can be seen right now in the world today. Think about the riots that are going on in Baltimore. Do you think people are going crazy because they have a deep love of crocheting afghans? No! They are acting out on their extreme hatred of xyz. There are people who do love crocheting, but it is highly unlikely that those people are going to impulsively band together to make an afghan that encircles the city with love, ponies, and rainbows. However, there are people that get angry and start spontaneously breaking other people’s stuff. Notice that they break other people’s stuff. Rioters don’t break their own windows and throw their TVs out into the street. That would totally break adherence to rioting convention.
Yes hate is a powerful thing, and it can bring you closer together. However, I would highly recommend that you focus on points 1 and 2, as they are much more productive and leave a feeling of peace and love rather than a feeling of a boiled soul.
They are many things that make this crazy, exciting, wonderful experience that we call life significant. However, it is our relationships with others and ourselves that we need to focus on if we are going to find true happiness. No man is an island. We must connect with others to fulfill our deepest needs. In doing this, we not only bring joy to ourselves, but we bring joy to others. Have a wonderful day.